Grieve Out Loud

I had a lot of apprehension about turning 30 last year (September 2011). It wasn’t a vanity or ageist thing, it was a me thing. I wasn’t happy with where I was in life. It felt like there were still so many things left to achieve, one of which was motherhood, something that was ripped away from me on September 18, 2009 when our first child was stillborn at 37 weeks.

In the years to come I had to learn how to incorporate grief into my everyday life. It was a painful transition and my muchness was something that became completely masked by the darkness. I missed my muchness, but it seemed hopelessly lost forever.

On September 1, 2011 I announced my first muchness challenge. During those 30 days some huge milestones were reached including: attending my first baby shower since my own, my husband’s birthday, our son’s 2 year mark and my 30th birthday. (Unfortunately due to technical issues most my original posts were lost).

Participating in the challenge made me see my life different. Instead of living days or weeks or months or even years in advance, I learned to find the beauty in today. Live for now, not the past or the future.

In the end my muchness beat out the darkness. Found the strength to survive another year without my son AND survived turning 30.

Exactly 30 days later (well, 31 because it was Halloween), we found out we were expecting another baby!!!!! And just like that, I had another shot at finding my motherhood muchness.

We’re currently 30 weeks pregnant and ready for round two of Finding my Muchness: Motherhood Addition.

I am very excited to share this journey (and baby) with you. Pregnancy after Loss is an unnerving roller coaster just like grief. Every day brings on new challenges and what better way to stay focused than to fill my days with MUCHNESS?!

My new challenge will begin May 6th, 2011. You can find my journey at julie.findingmymuchness.com
For more information on baby Buttercup visit my personal blog at Tales from the Womb

Want to take on your own Muchness Challenge? For information on how to join please visit findingmymuchness.com

What were your first thoughts of motherhood when you found out you were pregnant? Were you actively trying or was your first baby a surprise? Were you scared, excited, nervous?

Baby’s can acquire many nicknames. What was your baby’s first nickname? Did it stick? Tell us the story behind their nickname.

What was your first craving? Food or drink? Savory or sweet? Junk food or health food? How long did the cravings last?

Share your stories with us!

Welcome back for our second round of The First! writing challenge. Here is this weeks topic:

Who was the first person you told about your pregnancy (besides your significant other)? How far along were you? How did they react?

Looking forward to reading your entries!

After my son was stillborn at 37 weeks, all I could think about were all the firsts I would miss with him. Things like his first step, first word, first birthday, first day of school, first boo-boo, first . . . the list goes on. While reminiscing with a friend over his pregnancy it dawned on me that it’s just too painful to focus on all the things we won’t experience and that I need to focus on the things we DID experience. Before I knew it, the list of firsts we shared together was multiplying, which prompted me to start our very first Grieve Out Loud Writing Challenge: Project The First!

Our first writing challenge was to write about the first piece of furniture you bought. When applicable we’re asking everyone to share their stories through comments, on our Facebook Page, on Twitter using #GOLthefirst, or creating a blog/journal entry. Every two weeks we will announce our next writing topic. Topics will vary from week to week. We hope you will consider participating!

January 2012 marks the two year anniversary of Grieve Out Loud.

I can remember our premier like it was yesterday. We weren’t entirely sure how people would find us, or if this would even “work out” — but we felt such a need and deep desire to help others who have experienced the kind of losses we had. We put together an elaborate resource page and created a unique Pen-Pal Program that has become an entire project all of its own.

We’re humbled by the families we have helped throughout the years.
Helping has always been our mission.

Today, on our two year anniversary, we are asking for your help.

We are asking you to please consider a donation to keep our website live. For the past two years our domain space has been graciously donated to us. We will lose our site come January 31, 2012 if we do not find a new provider.

If you would like to see us stick around and continue to help families, please consider a donation today.

Donations can be made through PayPal or mail (address available upon request).

As the new year approaches, it always amazes me how little control we have over time. We go from living minute-to-minute, to day-to-day,  week-to-week, month-to-month — until we are face-to-face with a new year.

It’s okay to let go now.

Don’t be afraid to let go.
Let go of the past.
And the future.
Because we don’t need a map to find it.
We don’t control it,
we carry it forever.

:::::

Happy New Year’s from all of us at Grieve Out Loud.

Image by J. Granelli

First let me say thank you to all who signed up for our 1st annual Handmade Holiday Gift Exchange. I promise this will bring some extra joy into your holidays. Below is the partners list. Remember you are in charge of contacting your partner for their mailing address!

Partners are listed by e-mail address. Either click the link, or copy the address. The sooner you contact your partners the better, so get crackin’!

Please have your gifts postmarked by December 15! Most of all enjoy yourself! If you have any questions contact us!

Alysee + Emily

Amber Roseberry + Karin Olson Held

Lisa Marie Scullen + Megan Knebel

Jessica Higgins + Kanisha

Sarah Ragusa + Cindy Noble Stout

Stephanie Desjarlais + Tracey Capela

Hannah Roberts + Julie Gratton

Dayna Sabbath + Ang (altermyworld.angw@gmail.com)

Amanda (ilovemypitbull.amanda@gmail.com) + Stephanie Brown

Elizabeth Foor + Laurie Wear

Amanda Glant + Kayce Jones

Kathryn + Elizabeth Howell

Mary Pruitt + Amanda Broder

Erika Kraus + Samantha Doerfler

Ashley Nicholas + Alanna Whiteside

Courtnee Ramirez + Julie

Megan Skaggs + Alexandra Garcia

Nicole Ramsey + Cynthia Prest

Angela (jakinthebox08@gmail.com) + Sarah Casale

Anna Mireles + Sibahan Sanders

Dawn Molisky + Nneka Edwards

Heather Brown + Heather Taylor

Angela Pelissero + Cindra Fox

Tiffany Queener + Kat Davis

Michelle HS + Tanya Knepp

Cindy Carmack + Kendra Stapp

Shelly Adams + Tiffany Rodriguez

Tiffany Evans + Paula (aclassofangels@aol.com)

Toya Williams + Katie N.

Natashia + Melissa Tripp

Celeste + Liza Guillot

Michelle Seibert + Lori Lederer

Alissa + Alicia Karrick

Anna Taylor + Victoria Gregory

Melissa Terrill + Mendy Kew

Amanda Crowe + Lisa (claire2be@hotmail.com)

Koko + Shannon Hauger

Melissa (canole24@aol.com) + Amanda Lawson

Janetta Grigsby + Holly

Stephanie Sotka + Melinda Allen

Kim (kimwyman81@gmail.com) + Cathy Johnson

Melissa Kho + Adrianna Napaluch

Courtney Hagenbuch + Kimberly McIntyre

Carey Bear + Wanda Wieser

Ally (olivepit11@gmail.com) + Jen Marisi

Jenna Edgley + Erica (btrfly7565@yahoo.com)

Elaine + Sarah Dallum

Susan Franks + Kristie Weichel

The year we lost our son I participated in a handmade gift exchange hosted by Mother Henna. It truly helped us get through our very first Christmas after our loss. It was such an inspiration. This year we have teamed up with Faces of Loss to create the 2011 Handmade Holiday Gift Exchange!

The call for participants is NOW OPEN! If you are interested in joining please leave a comment including your name and either your blog url or e-mail address. The cut-off date for all participants will be November 13th! November 14th we will post the partners list so make sure to check back then.

Here are the guidelines:

– This exchange is open to everyone from anywhere. You might end up with an overseas partner. Keep that in mind when shipping.

– Please have your package(s) post marked by December 15th. If you miss the date please contact your partner and let them know when to expect it.

– You will be contacting your partner for their mailing address. This will be a great opportunity to ask them about their loss and how you might incorporate them into your project.

Here are some tips & tricks:

– Don’t be afraid to ask your partner questions. The more you know about them, the more ideas you will have. Research things like birthstones or zodiac signs. Find out what their favorite color is. Your gift should be from your heart to theirs. Anything is possible.

– You can create using any type of medium you feel comfortable with, so long as it is handmade! Some examples include: baked goods, drawings, paintings, ornaments, jewelry, picture frames, fiber art and knits, photography, wall art, candles, music, cards, or tags. Think etsy.com!

– Make sure to snap photos of your work-in-progress and the finished piece(s). We would like to do a photo collage of some of the projects you created.

– If you have any questions feel free to contact us!

To help spread the word please share this graphic on your blog or website.

We look forward to seeing what you create!

ENTRIES ARE NOW CLOSED!