Creative Solutions – Sewing
My nesting instincts were fierce in my last trimester. I could have cleaned circles around Alice from The Brady Bunch the day before I went into labor. In fact, my husband once ‘busted me’ cleaning the tiny cracks between the bathroom tiles with a q-tip. Anyways…
Besides cleaning, my creative side emerged too. The hands-on crafty earth mother who wanted everything my son would play with and wear to be handmade. His nursery was completely custom made, down to the crib sheets. We’re talking curtains and quilts and onesies, even hats and gloves. It was a very creative time for me. For all of us really.
…but when our son was born still and we can home empty-armed, my creative juices died too. My sewing machine was shoved in a corner and collected inches upon inches of dog and cat hair. All his handmade clothes were shoved deep into the dresser drawers we decoupaged. His crib was torn down in mere seconds and everything ‘baby’ was shoved into a closet. Out of sight, out of mind.
Weeks went by and the thought of creating something with my hands was no where to be found. It felt painful to create something that wasn’t for him.
But one day something caught my eye and my creativity sparked. And soon I found myself digging through my scrap fabric bin sewing random fabric swatches together – not really creating ‘anything’ just creating ‘something.’
What we ended up with was a creation for my son using all the scrap fabric from all of the projects I ever created for him. Pieces from his crib sheets, his curtains, his little hoodie – everything. It looked like this:
At that moment my creative solution for my pain, my loneliness and especially my grief was sewing. Sewing this goofy fish-like character in my son’s honor. It’s something that I will cherish forever. It’s like holding a tiny piece of my broken heart.
Submitted by Julie M.
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What kind of projects did you tackle after your loss? We’d love to know!
May 27th, 2010 at 8:49 pm
Since losing my little girl almost 3 weeks ago, I’ve become consumed with writing. I’ve always enjoyed writing, but it’s become my lifeline lately. The only way to make some sort of sense of the crazy chaos going on in my head.
May 28th, 2010 at 6:09 pm
I love your goofy little fish character!
My projects, since losing Henry, have been to create care boxes/packages for bereaved parents.
May 29th, 2010 at 6:12 am
I like that you made it out of scraps of material of stuff you made for him.
One of the first things I did was work on Carleigh’s scrapbook and it took me months to complete it and I still have to add her first birthday to finish it off.
May 29th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
After my first baby died, I made a scrapbook for her: with pictures from during/after the pregnancy, as well as pictures of all the flowers people sent us, and other things. I included messages from people, and cards people sent. It was very therapeutic for me.
And for all six of the babies I have lost, I have cross-stitched their names (along with a Bible verse) onto a little tag, and tied each one to an arrow. Those arrows hang in a quiver on my husband’s wall. I weep over the stitchery, and have a love/hate relationship with doing it.
But it does help to have something tangible to do.
June 2nd, 2010 at 2:45 am
Oh I love your little Evelfish so much…
My first project after losing my son was a big mosaic. Taking broken pieces to create something new seemed like the only appropriate thing to do… First it was a treasure-box, then a table, a stool and a lamp. I mosaiced everything I got my hands on – without giving it much thought or planning ahead.
June 2nd, 2010 at 7:29 pm
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